What We Have
by Togane Shiro
Summary: "This is why I always hate God... He took everything away from me... He took you away; the first one I came to love..."


**Title: **What We Have

**Genre: **Romance, Angst, Hurt/Comfort, Poetry

**Rated: **T

**Fandom: **Kuroshitsuji

**Disclaimer: Kuroshitsuji **belongs to **Yana Toboso**-sensei

**Warning: **Character death, shounen-ai, OOC (Ciel looked so weak here)

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_I know that we won't have a happy ending._

_We're a completely two different beings._

"W-What are you saying...?" Ciel Phantomhive looked at his butler with wide eyes.

"I think―I've said it clear enough... I'm not going to eat your soul, Bocchan," answered the butler calmly. The master narrowed his eyebrows, "_Meirei da_, Sebastian! Eat my soul―now!"

Sebastian simply shook his head. "Even if it's an order from you―I won't... After all this year I've spent with you, you have become more than a _meal_ to me. I was bored of my life before―only knowing how to eat," Sebastian kneeled down in front of his master and placed his right hand over his chest, "I've already thrown away my pride when I refused to eat you. What will you do? Will you do the same? Will you throw away your pride too, when you accepted what I did...or will you still force me to eat your soul?" he smirked.

Ciel hesitated for a moment. He bit his lips―not knowing what to do. He gazed at Sebastian's red eyes (as if he's searching for a help there) with his sapphire eyes.

"Now, throw away your pride and take a step closer to me!"

_One as a mortal and one as an immortal._

_One led a limited time of life and one led an eternal life._

"Sebastian..."

The demon butler stopped his work and turned to his master, "Yes? Is there something wrong, Bocchan?" asked him politely. He walked slowly to his master when he didn't get any respond, "Bocchan? Is something's been bothering you?"

"Are you sure about your decision, Sebastian?" the young Lord asked hesitantly. "I-I mean... Won't you regret it later?"

"In which case are we talking about, Bocchan?" Sebastian tilted his head and raised his eyebrow.

Ciel gritted his teeth and faced his loyal butler, "You know full well what I am talking about, demon!" he shouted.

The raven demon smiled (no, it's not a smirk) and kneeled in one knee, "I've made up my mind, Bocchan. It is already my decision not to eat your soul..." Sebastian lifted his hand and began stroking Ciel's smooth hair (which made Ciel blush).

"But... You've waited for quite some time for my soul... And also, we've formed the contract. You are supposed to eat my soul when my revenge is complete. Why...? Why won't you eat my soul even I ordered you?" Ciel muttered softly―almost impossible for Sebastian to hear if he isn't a demon.

"Because I love you...Bocchan..." he answered with a smile across his face.

The Earl of Phantomhive startled and his cheeks turned crimson, "Y-You what?" Ciel looked in disbelieving at the demon. He couldn't believe what he had just heard, "B-But, I thought demons can't love..."

"Yes, you're right. Demons can't love. But, you taught me how to."

Ciel forced a smile on his face, "B-But... Why me? I mean―I'm a human, a weak creature you all look down on! And...I'm not an immortal like you. I will leave you one day―alone," whispered Ciel.

Sebastian pulled Ciel closer and hugged him, "Then, when you die, I will keep our memories within me forever. That way...you'll always be here―inside me and forever with me..."

_We know that all we have is sad ending._

_Where one would live, and one would die._

_Where one would stop moving, and one would cry._

_We―above anyone else―know that already._

Ciel snapped his eyes open, revealing mismatched eyes. He trapped the ocean blue in his left eye, and Faustian mark rested in his right eye. He got up and looked at the window. Outside seemed to be a little too bright for a night and a bit too dark for a morning. He scanned the whole room, '_Sebastian hasn't come yet... That means it's still dawn..._'

"Searching for me, Bocchan?" a familiar voice surprised Ciel. He quickly stared at the source of voice, and he found his butler, standing straight beside his bed. "Y-You―! How could you be here! You aren't here a second ago!"

Sebastian smirked, "Have you forgotten that I'm a _demon_, my Lord?"

Ciel stared at him then sighed, "Yes, I almost forgot that you are a demon." Ciel covered his face with his palm and shook his head. "You _forgot_, Bocchan. Not _almost_ forgot," corrected the older man.

Ciel glared at Sebastian in annoyance, "... Yeah, yeah. I _forgot_, okay?"

"May I know, what makes you awake at such an hour, Bocchan?" asked Sebastian out of his curiosity. He may be a demon, but he had this worried feelings for his master. After all, he's madly in love with him.

The young Lord laid down on his king-sized bed and covered his whole body with the blanket, "_Nan demo nai_..." he muttered.

"Tell me, Bocchan..." said Sebastian calmly (but at the same time, it was intimidating). He sat on the edge of the bed. Though Ciel covered his face under the blanket, he could feel that the demon's sitting near him...and that really makes his heart bumped faster.

"L-Leave, Sebastian... I need to get more sleep..."

"I won't leave unless you tell me what dream you had," muttered Sebastian. Ciel sighed in defeat, "Okay―I'll tell you," Ciel showed up behind the blanket and sat up straight.

"I dreamt of me dying," said Ciel, it was so fast as if he was being chased. Sebastian didn't give any respond. Then after a second, he just realized that his master already told him about his dream, "Pardon?"

He furrowed his eyebrows, "I. Died."

Sebastian raised his eyebrow, as if demanding his master to tell more about his dream. "I...I was shot. And you were too late to save me, then we talked, and talked. Until I completely closed my eyes..." told Ciel.

"... What happened to me then?"

"I...I don't know... My dream ended there..." Ciel lifted his face to face Sebastian, "If that really happens...what will you do?" he tilted his head.

Sebastian smiled, "I will surely cry for you..."

_We don't have forever to love._

_We don't have countless millenniums to spend with each other._

_But, we have limited hours to hold hands._

_We have countable seconds to gaze at each other._

"Is it still far?" asked the young Earl.

Sebastian nodded, "Yes. Why? Do you feel tired? You could use the time to rest. I'll wake you up when we arrive." They were on their way to visit the ball the Queen held. The ball location was kind of far from Phantomhive Manor.

Ciel shook his head, "No, I'm not..."

Heavy silence fell upon them. The only sound they heard was the horse's running sound. Sebastian could feel the glare his master sent to him, it already lasts for some minutes, but Sebastian ignored it. Now, the demon decided to open his mouth, "Is there something wrong, Bocchan? Why are you glaring at me like that?" asked him to the boy in front of him.

Ciel quickly turned away, hiding the blush on his face, "I...I was just wondering... Why did you choose to sit there?" asked the master with a soft voice.

A questioned look appeared on the butler's face, "What do you mean? Then, where am I supposed to sit?"

"B-Beside me..." the Earl whispered. Sebastian couldn't help but smile. Then, he quickly stood and sat beside his Young Master, "Is this what you desire, Bocchan?"

The shorter man nodded, "Yes..." He slowly reached his demon's hand and held it tight. He leaned on Sebastian's shoulder too and closed his eyes, feeling the warmth of his lover. "I really hope we could always do this―where we could just close our eyes and enjoy each other's company. Forget about being a demon and a human. Forget about being a male and a male. Forget about our age. Everything..."

Sebastian looked at his master; it was so rare that his master showed his weakness. He usually would cover it up with his harsh tone and cold stare.

"I also hope that we could do this _forever_. Where we don't have to care about time anymore―since we have eternity to do this. But..." Ciel stopped his words and opened his eyes.

Sebastian slowly stroking Ciel's hair, "Don't worry, Bocchan. We may not have eternity... But, I think, all the time we had is enough for us... We'll always do this until your time comes..."

Ciel lifted his head so their eyes met; he looked deeply at the ruby orbs. They gazed for quite some time before Sebastian began to close the gap between the two lips. Ciel shut his eyes and let his butler's lips touched his. Sebastian placed his other hand (while the other still holding to Ciel's hand) behind Ciel's head; pulling him closer and deepened the kiss. They tasted each other's lips, ignoring the truth that the kiss they enjoyed so much was actually _forbidden_. After all―no matter whether they want to forget it or not―they were still a demon and a human.

Sebastian opened his mouth and licked Ciel's lips; asking for the permission to explore his mouth, which Ciel gladly gave. Ciel opened his mouth too and let the older man tasted him more. Their tongues were playing, wanting and wanting to feel the sweetness of the forbidden kiss. It was too sweet and they barely wanted to let go of the kiss. But, Ciel's lungs yelled for oxygen, so they parted the kiss.

The demon looked at Ciel who's trying to catch his breath. He smiled at him, which Ciel replied with a smile too. After Ciel's breath got normal, he leaned in and kissed his butler again.

Once again, they kissed with passion.

_We don't need extra time to waste._

_We only need what we have_

_And all we need to know is we love each other._

_I love you...Ciel Phantomhive..._

It was as if the sky cried for them. Today was the death for a certain noble― known as _The Queen's Watchdog_. Tens were mourning for him, and hundreds were dancing for him. His death may cause a great grief to his friends―though the one who died didn't even realize that he had one―but, his death also made the criminals felt free.

Some people were crying for him under the rain with an umbrella on. After some hours crying and mourning, they all came home, leaving the Earl to sleep. But, when the grave were already empty, a man with black tailcoat appeared out of nowhere and approached the dying body.

"So, the time we had...already up, huh?" asked the man to the corpse. He got no response.

He forced a smile and put down a bouquet of white rose, "This is for you... I took the most beautiful one and gave it to you..."

Silence. He got no responses again. The silence really made his heart ache, "This is why I always hate God... He took everything away from me... He took you away; the first one I came to love..." Sebastian let his tears fell off to the ground. His cheeks were wet by both rain and tears. He could felt his salty tears on his lips.

He cried for about an hour there, kneeling in front of his very own master and lover. He stood up and looked at his master once more, "Goodbye...Ciel..."

―_Sebastian Michaelis_

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**A/N: **Thank you for reading, minna-san! I really hope that you would like it :3 But, Sebastian and Ciel are really OOC here =.= *sighs* Mind to review?


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